Using Values to Set Goals & Limits

I have discussed values before but this is not a subject you think about once then forget about it. Knowing your values is an essential way to know and understand yourself and your needs. If you need a review of what values are and how to identify them, check out my post on identifying values. Your values shape who you are and are very much tied to what you want from life. I want to explore how you can use your values to set goals for yourself. Goals are manifestations of what you want. They should speak to what you truly desire and believe in. This is where values can be informative and helpful in setting the goals you want.

For example, if you highly value family, it is reasonable to set goals such as "call my mom twice a week," "take the kids on a fun outing twice a month," or "leave work by 5pm every day." If you highly value adventure, it is reasonable to set goals such as "try a new food every month" or "visit 3 new states and one new country each year."

Essentially, your goals should be a representation of the values that drive you. Yes; you might have some goals pertaining to needs and interests that are less high on your list of values. Overall, though, you should find your goals support your values. One example might be that exercise is not highly important to you but contentment, simplicity, and friendships are. So, in order to live a life that supports you staying active and engaged with friends, being as simple and content as possible, exercise will likely support that. Ergo, you might set a fitness goal like "find a team sport I can play and make new friends" or "establish a gym routine and select a commitment buddy to help me keep up."

On the other hand, knowing your values can also help you know your limits. If something does not support your values or explicitly contradicts them, you can feel confident that this is a place to set a firm boundary. For example, if you value family time and your supervisor keeps making requests that you work on weekends, you know that by accepting that weekend role, you will be taking time away from what truly matters to you. Or if you value your spirituality and find that in a meditation class every Monday and your friend calls you every day at that hour, you can let them know you are unable to talk at that hour and offer to work together to find a different hour you both can chat.

Knowing what you value can help you set goals and boundaries to live the life that best supports who you are and what you need.

If you need help in establishing values, goals, or boundaries check out my e-courses and, for Illinois residents, counseling and art therapy is offered through B3 Yoga & Wellness Center.