When the holidays hurt

The holidays. What is marketed as a gay ole' time can quickly become a painful time when you are faced with difficult realities such as grieving the loss of a loved one, going through a break-up or divorce, or are going through a difficult period financially or emotionally. Remember that you do not have to do everything with a fake grin for the holidays. It is okay to cry and acknowledge what is missing this holiday season.

It is also okay to be grateful for what you do have in your life. Even if you can't have, give, or do everything you want this year, remembering to be appreciative for the good things you have going on can make a big impact. Maybe it is recognizing you have a roof over your head. Maybe it is appreciating the twinkle of holiday lights down your block. Or perhaps it is being thankful for a person or pet that brings a smile to your face. Actively recognizing what we do have is a great reminder that, even when some things are lacking, there are a lot of things to be grateful for.

And remember, just because something may be a tradition, it doesn't mean you are bound to it for life. Traditions are meant to serve the people they are created for. If something does not serve you this year, it is okay to take a break, make a change, or put a tradition to rest.

Give yourself a hug, have yourself a cry, and list out a few things that you are grateful for this year. And know that whatever you feel is okay. The holidays can embrace you when you are down and wait for you when you are ready to partake.